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Happy Monday

I think I might be able to go home after all, I hope so. Keep your fingers crossed for me. I'm a pretty terrible budgeter, but when something's important, I can often pull it off anyway.

I'm really need to get a good headshot so I can audition for real work and start making some more money! I dream of the day I can both fix my financial quagmire and be really excited about going to work (not that I don't adore working with Joy every day - I couldn't ask for better company. But you know what I mean).

I also want to be able to plan a visit with Tony as soon as possible. I also need a bunch of other important stuff, including way better digs and a car, ASAP.

Speaking of listing stuff I want, here is the official Christmas list I sent to Mom:

1) An iPod Shuffle
2) Or, better yet, this phone
3) Phone cards for talking with Tony in Mexico
4-?) Gift cards to various and assorted retail establishments


In other news, the Hawks have hit a slump. They were upset by the 49ers on Thursday, blowing a second chance to clinch their spot. Please think energetic, winning thoughts for them as they take on the Chargers on Christmas Eve. The Redskins won their game Sunday against the Saints (speaking of upsets)!!! Jeff is probably pretty psyched. It's been a rough season for those guys, and they deserve a break. His ticket was a bust, so he's still ahead by only $0.40 . Meh.

Hi, Tony!

"If you open your mind for me, you won't rely on open eyes to see."

Those lyrics, from Queensryche's Silent Lucidity are a good example of the kinds of things that Tony and I have in common. In talking with him, I've been rediscovering how connected we are, and that so many of the basic and subtle things that make us who we are, are the very same or remarkably similar.

We are drawn to and fascinated by the same kinds of things, develop similar ways of perceiving them and prioritizing what is truly important about them. We are both philosophical creatures, drawn to grow our minds and look deep into the larger contexts of humanity: its growth and evolution, its passions like spirituality/religions (especially those of the ancients) its hierarchy (government, law, and to some extent, politics), its environment, its history, its mind. He loves the bigger picture, just like his mom.

He loves stargazing - his favorite constellation is Orion, the Hunter. I've always loved that one, but my favorite has always been Casseopoeia. We love the sea (I have always identified as a nautical person) - I can't remember where the conversation went when I asked him whether he likes maps, but he does love geography, and I have a feeling he does. Like maps. :P I think we like to be oriented. In as many ways and at as deep a level as possible. Some people just need to know, like a soul urge, where they are, and where their fellow humans are. It's integral, in the minds of people like us, to who we are, have been and are becoming.

Jeez, and these things are just the tip of the iceberg ... I am so excited and happy to be discovering and rediscovering my neat kid. There are already so many things to talk about here that I'm spilling over with them, and I had a hard time deciding which stuff to talk about first.

I wish I had a picture of him to post here, hopefully that won't be too long in coming ...

Yesterday's conversation with him was the first in twelve years. It was wonderful and happy. I couldn't get to sleep because I was still excited, thinking about him and everything we had said and begun to say, and thinking about stuff for the next conversation, and the future with him. I realized I had my little kid back, just big now, and that I get to talk with him - and hopefully soon, hang out with him (!!!) - for the rest of our lives. We like eachother and love eachother, we are like minded and easy going - I am looking forward to my relationship with him! This is something I am free to do now, things I am free to know for sure and plan for. I can share thoughts and music and ideas with him. I get to know and have everything he'd like to share with me. We can ask eachother anything, and not wonder anymore.

I can tell my kid that I love him, and listen to him tell me he loves me. I can hear him laugh. Welcome home, Tony Baloney Balloon. I LOVE YOU.